What if you could free yourself from stress and anxiety and find greater fulfillment with three simple words? In spiritual traditions and psychology the simple act of releasing what no longer serves us has been shown to lead to greater freedom and happiness. And we can do it with three simple words – LET IT GO!
The Ancient Wisdom of Letting Go
The idea that holding on causes suffering isn’t new. In Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths suggest that:
- Suffering exists (dukkha),
- Suffering has a cause, namely, craving and attachment,
- Suffering can end by letting go of craving and attachment, and
- There is a path to the end of suffering (the Eightfold Path), which includes practices such as mindfulness and ethical living.
Our desire to cling to people, possessions, outcomes, and even our job titles is what keeps us stuck. Only when we loosen our grip, can we create space for peace and contentment.
Whether it’s to the past, the need to be right, our possessions, or our expectations, holding on seems to be part of our DNA. The only problem is, the more we hold on, the more anxious and unhappy we become.
As Thich Nhat Hanh said:
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.”
Five Ways Letting Go Can Change Your Life
1. Let Go of the Past
Holding on to old regrets or hurts is like holding a small object in front of you. It may not weigh a great deal at first, but over time, it only gets heavier and heavier. Letting go doesn’t erase the past, but it provides relief and frees you to live fully in the present.
2. Let Go of the Need to Be Right
Clinging to being right often leads to conflict and resentment. In this week’s podcast episode, “Letting Go: The Greatest Life Hack of All”, I share a story which demonstrates how peace is sometimes more important than being right.
3. Let Go of Attachment
Everything in life is impermanent. One day, you will be separated from your possessions, job status, and even your closest relationships, either through change, distance, deterioration, or death. By loosening your grip and accepting that you cannot cling to anything, you can begin to appreciate what you have without fear of loss.
4. Let Go of Outcomes and Expectations
Trying to control how things turn out often leads to frustration, especially when things don’t go according to plan. Only when you let go of rigid expectations, can you open yourself up to new possibilities. And oftentimes, the outcome turns out better than you could ever have planned.
5. Let Go of Controlling Others
You cannot control how others think, feel, or act. When you let go of trying to control friends or family members, you give them the freedom to live their own life and make their own mistakes. You also free yourself from the stress of worrying about other people.
“With accumulation comes dispersion. With rising comes falling. With meeting comes parting. And with life comes death.”
— Four Truths of Impermanence
The Science Behind Letting Go
Research shows that letting go, whether through mindfulness or acceptance, can improve both mental and physical well-being. Letting go helps reduces stress, it increases resilience, and can improve our ability to enjoy the present moment. It can even make it easier to cope with the loss of a loved one.
Letting go is not about giving up; it’s about accepting life as it is rather than how you wish or think it should be. Accepting that everything is impermanent is the foundation for real change and growth.
How to Start Letting Go
- Practice mindfulness, notice when you are holding on.
- Ask yourself, “What am I holding onto, and how would it feel to let it go?”
- Remember that everything changes, and that’s okay.
- Focus on what you can control, i.e. your actions, your mindset, your responses.
- Seek professional help if you feel you just can’t let go.
Letting go isn’t always easy, but it’s almost always worth it. In any situation, you can ask, “What am I holding onto, and how can I let it go?” Whether it’s the past, the need to be right, attachment, outcomes, or other people, these three little words hold the key to lightness, freedom, peace, and contentment. As Daphne Rose Kingma wrote:
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, listen to Episode Six of my Step Into Me podcast, where I share practical stories and tools for embracing the power of letting go.
What have you let go of, and how did it change your life? I’d love to hear your stories. Send me an email and let me know.
